U is for unconventional.

“April, the Angel of the Months”.– Vita Sackville-West

April is my birthday month. For a short time early in 2011, I didn’t know if I would have another birthday.

After having 3 years of sporadic abdominal pain, I had an ultrasound of my gall bladder. Gall bladder okay. Liver, not so much. Tumors. I didn’t know if they were cancerous. What I did know is that liver tumors usually occur because they have spread from another organ. Sure enough, a CT scan showed the tumors had started in my small intestine.

I assumed I was a goner. One of the mornings during the time I call “the twilight zone”—the period upon learning about the tumors and finding out exactly what they were—I walked to the top of my driveway to pick up the paper. On the way back to the house, I stopped. And I stomped my feet and shouted (I don’t think out loud, but to myself): I WON’T BE THE THIRD WOMAN IN THIS FAMILY TO DIE IN HER MID-50’s! You see, in 2007, one sister-in-law died at age 56 during an asthma “attack,” and in 2009, another of my sister-in-laws died at age 57 from cancer. My declaration was a refusal to travel that path.

More tests revealed the tumors to be carcinoid, which are generally not life-threatening. Yippee!!! Of 100,000 cancer patients, only one or two—yes, you read that right: only one or two—have this type of tumors. I’m unconventional!

On March 3, 2011, surgery removed about six inches of my small intestine that were home to the tumors. Called “resection,” this surgery usually results in a lot of pain and nausea. I had not so much pain and no “pukies.” The nurse who took care of me the first three days (of my five-day hospital stay) said I was a poster child for small intestine resection. Again I’m unconventional!

The liver tumors will always be with me. I’ve known that since the diagnosis was made. But it wasn’t until a CT scan in December 2011 showed more liver tumors had developed that I really got it. It took almost a year for it to sink in. That I will always have this cancer. Always. Like, forever. On January 3 and 5, 2012, I had a “selective internal radiation treatment” (SIRT) that zapped the tumors with millions of teeny tiny radioactive beads. SIRT does not “search and destroy” the tumors, it simply makes them less active. This is a new treatment that’s not often done, and only one doctor in Colorado is trained to do the procedure. Once more, I got to be unconventional!

When folks talk about cancer, I often hear the word “fight.” I never have, never will, use that word to describe me. I’m on a journey. Here’s one woman’s story about her carcinoid journey. Kari's thoughts mirror much of mine. The Carcinoid Cancer Foundation is a great source if you want to learn more about this rare disease. The one that makes me unconventional.

I hope that you are a little unusual not because of what happens inside of you but what goes on outside. Do you have an eccentric hobby like time traveling? An odd habit that grates on others nerves? A silly collection of troll dolls? A bizarre sense of humor? What makes you unconventional?

One last thing about my birthday this month. I made a birthday cake quilt for my 50^th. The cake is a rainbow fabric that I decorated with rainbow-colored rick rack. The 50 candles are a stripe fabric where each stripe is topped with a sequin and a bead to make a flame, of sorts! The cake stand is built from triangles cut from 10 different fabrics.

Now that I’m reaching the last year of my 6^th decade, it’s about time to add more candles to my quilt, isn’t it? Haven't decided exactly the best plan of attack for these...maybe free-floating embroidered candles, or maybe I'll just draw them on the quilt top.

Being unconventional is zany!

Ending this post with a comfort food! While I’m more careful now about what I put in my body—less meat, more organic—sometimes I just need some cheer-me-up food that’s delightfully indulgent and decadent.

chocolate to the extreme

chocolate brownies

chocolate pudding

chocolate mousse

chocolate ice cream

chocolate sauce

chocolate chips

chocolate-flavored whipped cream (to make this, just add cocoa powder to whipped cream)

cocoa powder

Prepare the brownies. Cool in the pan. Cover and refrigerate.

Prepare a box of pudding and a box of mousse. Carefully spread the pudding over the brownies. Cover and chill.

To serve, cut the brownies into squares. Place each square off-center on a medium-sized plate. Dollop some mousse over the top of each brownie. Drizzle on some sauce. Toss on some chips. Top with whipped cream. Dust with cocoa powder. Put a scoop or two of ice cream next to each brownie.

Oops. Broke my keep-it-to-500-words rule. This post has 761.